4.5 more months and i'm losing it. disillusioned.

[counting down. counting down. not yet soon but i think i can smell it. mmm, it smells kinda good. (: ]

if only i knew what to say to you at the appropriate time. i've hit the crossroad and ain't no turning back anymore.

many a times i've seriously contemplated of messaging you and asked about your well-being, going back to how we were back then. but i'm just glad my resolute was strong enough to prevent me from doing so.

this should very well be the last thing about you appearing on this blog. it's a day for closure, a day to move on.

[no quotes of the day.]

it's the time of the year again and for the second straight year running, i'm celebrating my birthday in camp. i still remember the previous time when i was still in advanced infantry course and the day itself happened to be on the first day of my final field camp in Singapore. how nice it was to mark the day with a start of a 5D4N outfield camp.

fast forward one year and i'm still celebrating it in camp in the midst of a major division exercise.

i don't know if it's the age factor or the 'in-camp' factor or some other factors that actually made me lost interest in what we call it as a 'birthday mood' anymore. i would most probably blame it on the fact that i'm in camp, i'm in the midst of a major exercise, i'm busy, i'm tired, my life's mundane without any goals in life that attributed it to what i feel today.

and for what i always wish on my birthday, wishing my family stay happy and healthy, i will for once change this year.

[all i ask for this year, is for a happier year ahead, smooth- sailing all the way!]

thinkin back on what people often say or do, i will reitarate on what i've said before and always believed in. over time, things often get forgotten, promises unfulfilled, things will always turn out the way you knew it would but you just chose to think otherwise.

i'm not being a skeptic or a paranoid but i've gone through so much in life that i have lost faith in...everything?

every now and then, we're always denying that we're living in denial. oh and we all know the truth hurts.

[people often forget the good, and never fail to remember the shortcomings of man.]